I'd like to find all of these in one place later on down the road so here i goes...
Haste to the wedding
Corrs - video powered by Metacafe
Trans Siberia
Beegees Medley
Adeaze
Golddigger Grammys
Alicia
wow on that last one...blows me away every time.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Purgatario
Guam now. If i had written this last night after i arrived here, it would've been the most negative rant you'd ever come across. I'm starting to realize how much of a morning person I am because right now none of yesterday's mess matters anymore.
Right now I'm in a cafe in the lobby of one of the foremost resorts here on the island. The island itself sucks teh ass but there are little havens and oasis like this place that make me forget where I am and why I'm here.
I re-read the Alchemist on the way here. Great book, always inspiring.
---
Tuesday, 17 Oct 5:30 pm
I got interrupted mid-post and today has been the only time i've been able to pick up and finish. I think i was gonna say something awe-inspired about how bad things really aren't because of this great book i read but there's been enough time now to have changed my mind.
Everything sucks again, haha!
I'll be leaving here in about 12 hours. The flight out of Guam (which is the pacific equivalent of Newark) leaves at 530 AM and arrives in Yap something like 45 minutes later. From there I don't think i'll be able to write out as much as I do here.
Oh and here's a quick update on "here"...
This hotel lobby i'm in right now is the only place for free wifi that i'm aware of on the entire island. I'm surrounded by what seems to be 98% japanese tourists and I'm tempted to use what little japanese my cousin taught me to ask one of the many scantily clad japanizzles for their phone numbers. Last time i tried it on a waitress @ a japanese steakhouse in VA though, i think i insulted her cuz we ended up getting a new waitress. Lord knows if i said it right or if he didn't teach me something offensive. Prolly better not to say anything at all right? Right.
Where was I? Oh yeah, incommunicado. Before I lose all touch with everyone and everything i guess i should mention something that's been nagging at the back of my mind all day: Deja vu. I've been having the strongest sense of deja vu all day long. And i know i've been here before and done things like this before but for some reason...it's been like really REALLY bothering me that something is up.
A glitch in the matrix? Anxiety about the last half of my journey to gilligan's island? I've been trying to ignore all of the omens along the way telling me that things are happening for a reason and that something good is gonna come out of all this. I've been such a whiney bastard to my entire family, i'm surprised they haven't just left me yet. I don't deserve them.
Why am i fighting this? I have no control so the only thing to do is accept it and live, but I can't let any of it go yet. And what's worse than everything else i've rambled about so far is the fact that I haven't included God in this current transitional period. He speaks to me in everything but I haven't been listening. This is the time when my family...when I...need Him the most and I'm turning away. I've fallen so far from what I've used to be.
And look at this...i've turned this crap post into another generic bitchfest. I don't feel so bad though, if i write it out here that means I won't be dumping it on my family anytime soon. Besides, that's what purgatory is though right? A place where you have time to mull and dwell on your failures.
Only one stop left.
For anyone who's read up to this point, here's a something to look at...

A snapshot of God lookin out.
He's been good to my family. Everything's gonna be fine. The alcohol is wearing off, the faith is kickin back in.
Hafa adai.
Right now I'm in a cafe in the lobby of one of the foremost resorts here on the island. The island itself sucks teh ass but there are little havens and oasis like this place that make me forget where I am and why I'm here.
I re-read the Alchemist on the way here. Great book, always inspiring.
---
Tuesday, 17 Oct 5:30 pm
I got interrupted mid-post and today has been the only time i've been able to pick up and finish. I think i was gonna say something awe-inspired about how bad things really aren't because of this great book i read but there's been enough time now to have changed my mind.
Everything sucks again, haha!
I'll be leaving here in about 12 hours. The flight out of Guam (which is the pacific equivalent of Newark) leaves at 530 AM and arrives in Yap something like 45 minutes later. From there I don't think i'll be able to write out as much as I do here.
Oh and here's a quick update on "here"...
This hotel lobby i'm in right now is the only place for free wifi that i'm aware of on the entire island. I'm surrounded by what seems to be 98% japanese tourists and I'm tempted to use what little japanese my cousin taught me to ask one of the many scantily clad japanizzles for their phone numbers. Last time i tried it on a waitress @ a japanese steakhouse in VA though, i think i insulted her cuz we ended up getting a new waitress. Lord knows if i said it right or if he didn't teach me something offensive. Prolly better not to say anything at all right? Right.
Where was I? Oh yeah, incommunicado. Before I lose all touch with everyone and everything i guess i should mention something that's been nagging at the back of my mind all day: Deja vu. I've been having the strongest sense of deja vu all day long. And i know i've been here before and done things like this before but for some reason...it's been like really REALLY bothering me that something is up.
A glitch in the matrix? Anxiety about the last half of my journey to gilligan's island? I've been trying to ignore all of the omens along the way telling me that things are happening for a reason and that something good is gonna come out of all this. I've been such a whiney bastard to my entire family, i'm surprised they haven't just left me yet. I don't deserve them.
Why am i fighting this? I have no control so the only thing to do is accept it and live, but I can't let any of it go yet. And what's worse than everything else i've rambled about so far is the fact that I haven't included God in this current transitional period. He speaks to me in everything but I haven't been listening. This is the time when my family...when I...need Him the most and I'm turning away. I've fallen so far from what I've used to be.
And look at this...i've turned this crap post into another generic bitchfest. I don't feel so bad though, if i write it out here that means I won't be dumping it on my family anytime soon. Besides, that's what purgatory is though right? A place where you have time to mull and dwell on your failures.
Only one stop left.
For anyone who's read up to this point, here's a something to look at...

A snapshot of God lookin out.
He's been good to my family. Everything's gonna be fine. The alcohol is wearing off, the faith is kickin back in.
Hafa adai.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Paradiso
Hawaii. This place is perfect. Everytime I'm here, i want to buy a house. Since that's out of my price range though, I went to Barnes & Noble and bought a book about houses here in Hawaii. I plan to read it on the plane to Guam, but i know i won't. I'll probably just watch a DVD on this laptop or sleep the way i did the whole way here.
I still haven't accepted any of this yet. I was freezing my ass off sunday morning in NoVA and drinking at a lounge on waikiki beach on sunday night. This is all just a vacation, right? I'll wake up soon in my bed at my house and it'll be freezing again. I'll be late for work where i don't accomplish anything and when i get home around midnight I'll plop down in front of my bigscreen TV to try to watch a DVD i've been borrowing from someone for the last 3 years.
This is paradise. The kind of place where you'd want to fall in love or raise a family.
And i'll be leaving on saturday.
I still haven't accepted any of this yet. I was freezing my ass off sunday morning in NoVA and drinking at a lounge on waikiki beach on sunday night. This is all just a vacation, right? I'll wake up soon in my bed at my house and it'll be freezing again. I'll be late for work where i don't accomplish anything and when i get home around midnight I'll plop down in front of my bigscreen TV to try to watch a DVD i've been borrowing from someone for the last 3 years.
This is paradise. The kind of place where you'd want to fall in love or raise a family.
And i'll be leaving on saturday.
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