I'm sorry

I got carried away and forgot the choice I made.

The choice we made.

I am strong, I'll be better now and remember where the lines are.



See you around.

Something Good

SOMETHING NEW

This was a good movie. A very good movie.

For several reasons that are worth writing out but I'm just too tired to do so.

Good stuff.

Exactly What I Deserve

I didn't listen to everyone when they said "don't bother" and decided to keep an open dialogue with aforementioned Ex (not that one, the other one). I've already admitted a weakness when she wants to get in touch and today my weakness betrayed me.

I let it roll into a personal conversation and then was subsequently burned when she gave me the answers to questions I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Part of what sucked was I had just gotten to work when it happened and I let it eat at me for the rest of the day. The other part was that I couldn't talk about it with anyone without feeling like even more of a loser.



But I did and now I feel even worse than before since the person I spilled it to is one of the most vocal "what the fuck is wrong with you" friends I have. They aren't wrong, either. Why did I even bother? Am I really concerned with what's going on in her life or am I just so lonely and starved for personal attention that I'll take it from anyone willing to give me the time of day? Even this introspection reeks of circular argumentative FAIL.

How could I let her hurt me like that after all this time? I didn't think you were even allowed to feel this way when there's nothing there anymore.

Fucking pathetic.




/more wine
//less whine
///more sleep
////less weak

Balance

One cup of coffee at 8:30 PM necessitates one cup of Wine at 2:15 AM. Such is the balance I am attempting to restore to an otherwise ordinary evening.

So much to do in the days ahead. I'm slowly rationalizing a series of irrational decisions based on impulse. Outdated impulses with upgraded rationales lead me to believe that my next attempt at success will prove less successful since I do so without the support of my loved ones.

I only hope God is still on my side.

Something to Say

Upon discussion with a coworker on the topic of blogs I confessed my inability to start and actively maintain my own blog.

His response was "you have to have something to say, otherwise it's a waste of your time and the readers' ".

As of now there are many things to say about many things in general. As it is, the time is 11:13 pm and I have no one to say them to. Alone again =|

So here I am. On the internet at midnight. 2 beers deep with no ambition to do anything beyond finishing this sentence if there isn't anyone to say it to.



So...anyone there?



No? I'm going to bed then.