Exactly What I Deserve

I didn't listen to everyone when they said "don't bother" and decided to keep an open dialogue with aforementioned Ex (not that one, the other one). I've already admitted a weakness when she wants to get in touch and today my weakness betrayed me.

I let it roll into a personal conversation and then was subsequently burned when she gave me the answers to questions I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Part of what sucked was I had just gotten to work when it happened and I let it eat at me for the rest of the day. The other part was that I couldn't talk about it with anyone without feeling like even more of a loser.



But I did and now I feel even worse than before since the person I spilled it to is one of the most vocal "what the fuck is wrong with you" friends I have. They aren't wrong, either. Why did I even bother? Am I really concerned with what's going on in her life or am I just so lonely and starved for personal attention that I'll take it from anyone willing to give me the time of day? Even this introspection reeks of circular argumentative FAIL.

How could I let her hurt me like that after all this time? I didn't think you were even allowed to feel this way when there's nothing there anymore.

Fucking pathetic.




/more wine
//less whine
///more sleep
////less weak